My Top 5 Treat List

wei ni a.k.a. satan just sent me a link that asked me to state the top five things i would treat myself. ok! :) like a quiz, i loooooove quizzes. PLUS i have an ear infection so i'm a bit high on pain killers and antibiotics. that's always a fun time to share your thoughts. :).



5. i would treat myself to a trip all around the world. i can backpack. put my hobbit feet to good use.

















my hobbit feet. well imagine them darker a bit. :).


4. i'd like to treat all the poor/homeless/orphaned kids to their favourite foods, or buy them books and teach them how to read. education more important than hunger right? if i gave a starving man a fishing rod instead of a fish i think his first instinct would be to slap me for mocking him.




























3. treat my friends and my mother la, one would like to shop in paris, the other one would like a boyfriend in paris and my mother...wah give her a postcard with a picture of paris also her eyes go starry so i think just send her to paris she'll be happy enough. i also want to go to paris, f.y.i.


















er...not this paris.

THIS ONE!!!!!!














2. i would buy myself all the instruments in the world. :D. well i don't want trumpets la, my lungs not that good. i don't want recorder, flute or accordians. maybe i just want basic instruments then, guitar, piano, violin, drums...ok la. :). then i can stay at home and play and sing my music. stop forcing everyone i meet to go karaokeing with me. i think i'm losing friends that way.














bestfriend (left) and I...very serious about karaokeing.

drumrolll.....and nooooo. 1!!!!!! excite! excite!

1. Dell Inspiron 13!! because...to do any of the above i need to generate some income ma. and since my ancient computer broke down i always have to go cc to check my mail and apply for job or when i get freelance graphic design jobs i have to camp at my best friends (the one who wants to shop in paris) house and eat her food and kacau her. so i really really really need it!! :D. i'll appreciate it sooooooo much i tell you!! serious. no joke wan. i need computer to get job, but i need job to buy computer. WHERE CAN! somemore dell sooooo pretty. :). i know. my best friend (paris shopping) got dell. red one. like apple. make me want to sin. ok i stop now. cheers.


















THE PINK IS SO PRETTY!

Need to eat but don't have no money? Have the money and eating too much? I got something YOU need!

Anyone broke? I feel your pain. Everyone who knows me knows I do. So, I'm giving YOU the oppurtunity to WORK FROM HOME and make a good income. If you're seriously broke, and therefore serious about making some money, email me at politeia1@gmail.com

On the other hand, if you're looking for a way to get healthy, or get rid of any nagging health problems, or just generally want to look better you can also email me. Good for LOSING WEIGHT I tell you.

Cheers.

I CAN be normal, I WILL be normal, I AM normal. I do believe in fairies! I DO! I DO!

I'm 22.

I know it's December which means my birthday pass long before your time edy, but I've got the delayed reaction of your grandmother. I'm old now, I've offcially become a time fighter. You would think I'd be one of those people that embraces age with dignity right?

Not so.

My type of people can only exist in youth. Woe is to the day I age, a 60 year old with black nail polish is as laughable as the movie titanic. And. Just. As. Old. As. The. Ship.

Botox is going to be my friend. I should make friends with Michael Jackson now itself, he probably has like a Bonus Link card for surgey and the scalpel only knows how many points he's collected.

Anyway whatever, lets move on from this drone tone, today I'm going talk about the new jobs I have. Wa wa wee wa! Is age supposed to focus your lense? Cos it ain't working out for me cousins, my lense has become a telescope. On that helpful note can someone PLEASE explain to me why I am NEVER on time?!? HAIYOH, I donno what's my problem, I got some kind of ADD brain, I'm ALWAYS distracted by something whenever I'm supposed to be somewhere. Especially when I'm supposed to be somewhere like work.

Focusing my telescope. And pointing.

Kebobs and Ke-jay-jays! I am no longer a chicken seller...as of last month...I became....a TEACHER!

I actually had to stop to laugh at that again, never gets old this joke. I'm not sure how I got the job also actually, I think I was drinking and I saw this vacancy post and somewhere between vodka and gin I emailed my resume. Did I do it as a joke? If so bloody good one, I'm still laughing.

Youths ask me things like, "Teacher, can I go toilet?", and just earlier I was making a boy do corrections and he said 'shit' and these words actually came out of my mouth, "You shouldn't curse." After saying that to him I had nothing to say to myself. I'm morally bankrupt like LCK, so much for freedom of action and speech. I'm as democratic as our government.

Let's move on, then a few days ago someone asked me to be....a personal assistant! That one sounds a bit fun, cos I like the title. PA!!!

Why can't I be norrrrmalll. Why must I be such a dodgy characterrrrr. I should have been put into a military academy for life, people like me cannot have freedom. I got the Mental Retardation.

I'm bored of experimenting with odd jobs, I need a new goal in my life. What will I do next kawan-kawan? OooOOooOO. Suspense.

You're right, I'm going to become a Capoiera Fighter. Then I'm going to go to Georgetown, Penang for a week and stay there. I'm going to try Travelling Alone.

And everytime, you people think I joke. After the "I'm A Slut" protest, the Lesbian Attempt, and the Nasi Lemak Selling venture shouldn't you fools have a little more faith?

Who needs Prozac Nation When We Got BN Nation?

Darren C. Edwards is always giving me things to post about, good thing I cannot make money from blogging otherwise I’d have to give him a percentage man.
Anyway, today the funniest thing happened.
I learned our beloved government got a blog. Ok, site, wever.
-Enter laugh-
It’s called 1malaysia
-Enter laugh-
Then najib gives a speech
-Enter laugh anyway cos you know it’s gonna be full of shit-

Goodness, our country don’t even need anti-depressants with a government like ours. Like some kind of circus show everytime I turn around. Chup, I continue listening to his long winded toilet talk, his speech still running in the background. He uses these joke terms like democracy, united, unity, unite, then already so funny can go joke somemore about apa tu…oh ya open discussion and rationality. Got accent somemore! Hahahaha.
Stutters like George W. Bush la this fella.
I’m guessing they cannot be arrested for telling ‘untruths’…aiyoooooh his tone and manner like those horrible story telling competitions my teachers made me do when I was in standard 3. I bet he’ll be funnier if I watch it again with a strong drink. Oooooh ooh party night for me!
Okay, drink check, cigarettes check, excitement check. Roll film!

Ooooh he wants to heed the people’s voices. Hahaha. Sure not….
Oh then he addresses the liars who say we were never united in the first place. He rejects this politics. All this politics.

He wants to unite malays, indians, chinese, orang asli, iban and kadazans. Sudah lupa kotak ‘dan lain lain’. ‘Dan lain lain’ that keeps our country running, indon, bngla, pakistani dan myanmar. Wow I keep zoning him out. Ok, now must rewind again.
Eh eh, he using that democracy word again.

Wah can talk about evil political parties that are race based. Hahahahaha. This fella got short term memory loss issit? Eh or do I mean long term…maybe I should have gone with general memory loss. Whatever, I memang not the sharpest thong in the knicker drawer.

We used to discuss in harmony he says, before ‘certain parties’ took to the streets in rage. Take away the R in RAGE you get AGE, meaning he should take tips from Negara Kuku to make his youtube video more interesting.

Hahah he can bring in rukun negara in his talk somemore. Hahaha…let’s see if I remember it….Ahem.
Negaraku…is the national anthem. Wrong la po.
Ok ok….ah. Kepercayaan kepada tuhan. Kesetiaan kepada raja dan negara. Keluhuran perlembagaan. Kedaulatan undang undang. Kesopanan dan kesusilaan.
Hah! Wow….that’s brainwash la mother fucker if a student like me also can remember that. What the fuck?!?! Oh well, obviously just cos I can remember it don’t mean I follow it…I not sopan or susila. Whatever susila means, susila is like a name one of my aunties should be called.

Ok whatever la, I cannot listen to his drone tone anymore, I finally see the strategy behind his boring propaganda talk, he plans to put everyone to sleep before they can fight back. Well it worked. I actually lost interest in doing my post now.
He’s STILL talking in the background, OH MY GOD, I feel like I’m in school. Shutupshutupshutupshutupshutup. Behbehbehbehbehbehbehbeh. EEEEEEEnnooooooNEEEnnoooooNEE. Heheh, that was the sound of the ambulance. Ok, ok focus popo.
He keeps telling us to be tolerant, trust me this post very tolerant already. I CANNOT do this now. I’ve lost control of writing ability like my cat lost control of her bladder in her old age.
Sorry la to the 2 people who diligently read my blog, I guess the age of Po is over.
No need to be so sad. Geez.
Assholes.

P.S: He’s STILL talking.

Guess who's back, back again, Po is back, tell a friend.

Hello, hello. Apa khabar semua? Baik? Bagusgood.

You must all be wondering –and if you aren’t you should be, because I should always be in the forefront of your minds- where I’ve gone lately. What’s po doing? How’s popo feeling? Should I give porocks my whole paycheck?

Yes.

I see you’ve all been suffering in silence about my whereabouts. Well no need to suffer so quietly anymore. Cos I’m here now! I know you are all heaving a great big silent sigh of relief, and then there will be a lot of silent ‘welcome back, we’ve missed you’s’.

Bastard kids.

Okay I move on to the rapid events of my life, and no need to snort at that sentence ok, rapidity like time is relative. E.g. my life is bustling compared to the life of my dead grandmother. Einstein came up with that you know. Relativity. Eh, newton ka? Wever he sounds like a lizard. Newt. Newt.

Anyhow, freedomfilmfest sudah habis. Macam mana?

Sikalang –sekarang=sikalang keep up please- I have decided to work part time in the F&B business. You read it.
Why you ask? Well why not. Put my oxen legs and balance to good use. Plus I want to try all kinds of jobs, one day I will become a rubbish collector. But we start small. Build my freak resume up slowly.

I’d tell you the name of the place but I can’t, cos I might divulge harmful things about it. Secret things. Sexual things. Hahah. Ok no sex. Anyway back to my point, it’s a chicken joint. CHICKEN. I’M A VEGAN. I don’t understand my life la. Mula-mula, KFC, now also ayam.

But it’s interesting being a waitress actually, the only bad part is I have to be extra polite and extra friendly. I’m already polite and friendly, I don’t like to be fake. Sometimes I want to say ‘fuck you’. Taboleh.

BUT THE WORST PART! Is not that I work 12 hour shifts with no break everyday with no off day and no public holidays. It’s that I see EVERYBODY I’ve ever KNOWN IN MY WHOLE LIFE.

I give you e.g. list. I was happily passing out flyers knowing that eventually I would bump into the first someone I know when…I saw this bop bop bopping head, with the face of…Mark Teh. What to do?! I can’t explain why I’m suddenly working in chicken place! There’s no REASON in my life, it’s a series of inexplicable events! SO I therefore froze like a goldfish and did not give him a flyer.

THEN a church member started working in the shop next door, I used to rent a room in her house, and either she’s senile or she’s/I’ve had botox recently because she doesn’t recognize me. Good.
THEN I saw a human rights person and didn’t even recognize him until he left, donno if he was confused if I was the right person or he thought I was ignoring him.
THEN I saw Ziana Zain. I was talking to her and her friend about the specials when some co-worker of mine flew out and started gushing. Not my fault if I cannot recognize people’s face, and also not my fault that I don’t care about celebrities.
Then I saw everyone from my secondary school.
Then Jesus walked in and turned all the pepsi into wine. So over some drinks I asked him what I should do to protect my anonymity. He told me to stop wearing my name tag.

AND then there’s this freaky security guard who keeps staring at my face with this sick look of love and taking flyers several times a day. What a dodgy dwarf. I don’t want to know what he does with all the flyers.
I shouldn’t do blog posts in this type of mood, I have no structure man. Wever I’ll do a proper one next day when I care enough to focus.

Po’s out.

Don’t you think that’s better than seacrest out? So much less space consuming. I can just put it together and say pout.

Ok, ok. I’m going.

One Step Closer to My Parade!!!

Okay, listen up pal!

This is NO JOKE, Intu Black is Being Very Serious today.

I have waited for a VERY long time -okay maybe only a year- to be able to have a fun gay parade even though I'm not gay. Well, not that much. I HAVE WAITED DAMN YOU.

And this petition here :-

http://www.petitiononline.com/mod_perl/signed.cgi?psrmsia

Will bring me ONE STEP CLOSER to my parade, and will bring YOU one step closer to a legal BLOWJOB. Yes, it is illegal, setenceable -no need to tell me that's not a word ok i don't care- by 20 years...apa tu prison dalam bahasa? jail? pintu letak you lepas tu taboleh buka? dalam itu cell? apa panggilnya?! aha! penjara!! 20 tahun letak lu dalam penjara atau dapat whacks oleh rotan...mungkin juga 20 kali, kerana ini kerajaan suka nombor itu.

ANYWAY, dungu focus! YOU MUST SIGN THIS PETITION :-

http://www.petitiononline.com/mod_perl/signed.cgi?psrmsia

Or I will make you sleep with the fishes mofo. I indian, of the damn black coloured indians somemore, you think I not part of the tamil tigers ka? You think I related in any way to Mahatma Gandhi who is so fair and so thin and so peaceful? No my friend, I related to Kali, Goddess of Death. And I will make you sleep with the chutney. Kiss the pottu! Toddymother has spoken.

SO, SIGN IT! Or I will roti cannai your ass back to your original countries, China, Indonesia, India, Whereveryourfrom. If you orang asli don't think you gonna get away with it, you think you give me sob story I'm going to let you off the hook? The cannai will come after you too, I got nowhere to deport you but trust me...I'll think of something.

Oh, and HAPPY MERDEKA EVERYONE. Now I'm going to go have a good one, cheeeeeeerssssss! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaam Samseng Tamil Tiger Woooooooo!

P.S. : Lemember kawan-kawan, malam ini mesti berholler Merdeka! 20 kali, semacam kerajaan kita suka!

P.P.S : Dan kalau kamu Cina dan marah kerana saya guna perkataan 'Lemember', solly la, I fo'get that wold in BM.


http://www.petitiononline.com/mod_perl/signed.cgi?psrmsia

FUCKER SIGN LA. I PUT THIS LINK SO MANY TIMES EDY! Asswipe la lu.

Sexxxxxyyyyy Everything about You so Sexy.

I take a break from my bummerity after reading Darren’s multiple Avril Lavigne posts, I cannot help it now, if I don’t say anything about it then Politeia might as well be dead.

Oh and F.Y.I Darren, that kind of obsession for Avril is not healthy. Hey, hey, you, you, wanna be Avril’s Boyfriend.

Okay I cut the crap and the long posts this blog always seems to have for inexplicable reasons.

The other day I watched E! entertainment mock our country on the Daily Ten. Again we are mocked. Again We Are Mocked.
And how can we not be mocked??

AVRIL LAVIGNE IS TOO SEXY TO PERFORM ON A MALAYSIAN STAGE.

What is our government full of pedophiles?? The girl is CHILD SIZED.

Meanwhile, the Pussycat Dolls performed in Genting for MTV Asia. The. Pussy. Cat. Dolls.

You know them, ‘When I grow up I wanna have boobies.’ And ‘I’m-a do my thang while ya playing witcha…’

Didn’t Black Eyed Peas perform as well? With Fergie…and as one comic put it, the woman solely responsible for AIDS in America. Hahaha. Nothing against Fergie’s humps I have, but that was funny.

Oh but it’s different now because of Merdeka. Not good Merdeka values. I see, cos we fought for independence in a wholesome, stellar role model type of way. Fully covered, without guns and no one was killed Communists didn’t exist. The British just ate scones and tea and the bloody Indians tapped rubber with big ass smiles.

We fought to become a Demoacracy you see. Yes, it’s that form of thinking where you can say and do whateeeeeeeeever you want, except on Merdeka la. Then cannot. Bad karma. Bad for our youths.

Who by the way can watch MTV aka Soft Core Porn, but cannot see thumbelina pretending to be a punk on stage. I tell you, you tell me Lavigne is a punk I will laugh in your face. Black liner and delusion does NOT a punk make.

You can contract STD’s by just looking at some of the youths we have here. What talking you bad influence. Like we got no internet where there’s a horse fucking a midget, terrorists slicing a throat and Paris Hilton.

What talking the stupid fools who make these statements. Cock talking is what. See I’m a Malaysian youth. Cock, twat, cunt, fuck, nipple hair, hairy palms, lesbian, gay sex, fuck an asshooooooooooollleeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Avril Lavigne influence meeeeee, hooooor hoooooor tak tahu. Aku jadi IIIIBLIIISSSSSS.